Never Admitting the Truth
by risty234
Summary: This one-shot it's about Zander Robbins and who he was underneath that smile and his looks before he died and how his death affected six people who loved and cared about him and how he impacted people and teaches these six people about life and moving on and secrets this six friends remember after his death. These six friends take the blame of Zander's death.


Stevie Baskara looked in the mirror in her black dress, tears on her face. Her eyes filled with tears, puffy and red. No one expected this, it was unexpected Zander Robbins was dead and it wasn't a dream. She took a glance of the picture of Zander and her together when they were in high school. She smiled at the memory. It was the first time she ever saw a different side of Zander. It helped her fall in love with him by him just showing a different side of him that he rarely or never showed.

_-Flashback- _

"_I'm telling you Stevie that we will definitely rock that concert" Zander said while looking at his reflection. "Why are you obsessed with your reflection?" Stevie asked him while raising one eyebrow up. "You know that you always look good" Stevie continued with a small smile. "You really think so" Zander said while looking up at her. "Yeah Zander that's why girls always fawning over you, don't you know" Stevie said with one of the hugest smile. Zander smiled back at her with a smile she never saw on Zander. "Thanks Stevie, but how come Molly never seems to care" Zander said while looking away from her. "Zander you want to talk about it" Stevie stated to him. Zander and Stevie sat down on the couch in the band room. "I feel like I'm not perfect, no girl wants me to ask them out" Zander stated to Stevie while looking down at his hands. "See Zander, you don't need to be perfect" Stevie told him while grabbing his hand. "Easy for you to say that your dad didn't walk out of your life" Zander told her while standing up. Zander never talked about his past. "Zander, I know you and to me you are already perfect" Stevie said to him while moving his head to look her in the eyes and she smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile at her back. "Thanks Stevie" He said to her with a smile on his face. "For what" Stevie replied still holding a smile on her face. "For making me feel better for saving me" Zander stated to her and Stevie didn't know what to say. "You're welcome" She told him with smile and with that she and Zander took a picture. _

_End of Flashback_

At that time Stevie didn't know what Zander meant by her saving his life, all she knew was all she did was make sure he knew that he was perfect. Now it made plenty of sense. Stevie was upset that she had no idea and that she couldn't seem to notice that when Zander smiled it wasn't real, it was fake, everything Zander felt in front of Gravity 5 was different and most importantly how couldn't she tell he was in pain behind those gorgeous eyes maybe because she fell in love with him maybe cause she didn't want to believe that Zander was anything but happy. Stevie always thought Zander was perfect and had everything. She never went to his house, nobody did, so why didn't she think that was strange, why didn't she think that was a clue right there, that something was wrong with Zander. She turned away from the picture and closed the door to her apartment and got in her car. She arrived at her destination.

Kacey Simon now known as Kacey Reed had the life she always wanted; she finally made it big and happily married to Kevin Reed from Gravity 5. Gravity 5 broke up after high school was over. Kacey smiled to herself watching Kevin get ready. "I can't believe Zander is dead" Kacey whispered to her husband. "I know who would of thought" Kevin replied while fixing his tie. Kevin looked at his wrist; it was watch that Zander gave him years ago. He never took it off after Gravity 5 broke up. It meant the world to him and seeing Zander so happy about it. He just never had the need to remove it.

_-Flashback- _

_It was ordinary day, except the fact that it was Kevin's birthday and Kevin was extremely excited about the gifts that he would receive from his band members. After Gravity 5 rehearsed Kevin sat on the couch between Nelson and Zander. First gift was Kacey, it was costumed drum sticks. "Wow Kacey thanks this awesome" Kevin told her with a big smile. The drumsticks had his name engraved in it. "No problem Kev" Kacey told him. Lately Kacey been calling him Kev and he usually he hated being called Kev but he didn't mind when Kacey called him that. Kevin opened Stevie present next; it was a necklace that had Kevin's name on it. "Wow Stevie how much did this cost" Kevin asked her. "Hey I'm not telling you that" Stevie stated to him before shrugging her shoulders. "Open mine next" Nelson told Kevin and Kevin smiled at Nelson and took his present. Kevin opened it; it was book for all ladies number. "Dude I figure it would be some use, since you are quite the ladies' man" Nelson told him with a smile. "Thanks bro" Kevin replied with a handshake with Nelson, that he had since forever with Nelson. Zander handed his gift to Kevin and Kevin opened it. His mouth dropped in shock. "Dude I can't take this watch" Kevin told me before trying to give it back to him. That watch was Zander's last gift from his father and Kevin knew that. "Just take it I don't want it and plus I don't wear watches" Zander told him with a smile and handed it back to him. "Don't argue" Zander continued with a smile on his face. Nelson, Stevie, and Kacey were all confused about the situation. Kevin smiled hugely before taking the watch and Kevin put the watch on immediately which caused him to get a huge smile from Zander._

_-Flashback End- _

A week after that, Kevin realized that Zander's father was cruel and mean to Zander even Kevin saw Zander's father hitting him, but he never brought it up. Kevin thought it wasn't his responsibility and he shouldn't get involved. To this day Kevin felt as if he did talk to Zander about his father being abusive, Zander would still be alive. Kevin still held that secret never even talked about to anyone. Maybe just maybe the effect of what his father did to him burned Zander badly and no one could save him. Those were the thoughts that came to his mind at night ever since the news of Zander death. Now Kevin would have to face all of the ex-members of Gravity 5, Stevie, Nelson and Grace.

Kacey had a small crush on Zander and she told that Stevie, it was one night that made Kacey realized she didn't like Zander like that but Kevin and it was all thanks to Zander.

_-Flashback- _

_Kacey walked into the band room seeing Zander was sitting on the couch with his guitar. Kacey sat down next to him. "Hey Kacey" He stated to her when he saw her. "You wanted to talk" She asked him and Zander nodded. "I know that you like me" Zander told her and Kacey turned her head around. "You shouldn't Kacey, I'm damaged goods but thanks for liking me" Zander told her in a vulnerable tone that he hardly ever uses. "What you talking about" Kacey asked him confused about the whole ideal. "Trust me Kacey Simon you don't need me in your life no one does" Zander said to her and with that Kacey got up and looked at Zander and before you knew it, Kacey left the room without saying bye to Zander but before she left she heard Zander say this. "Thanks Kacey Simon for making me feel important" Kacey didn't ever hear Zander ever speak that way, it was gentle and it sounded with lot of pain. The next day things was normal, Zander went back to his normal ways, his happy tone and demeanor was happy and of course Kacey thought that was strange but she never brought it up with anyone in the band. It wasn't her job. _

_-Flashback Ends- _

Kacey regretted not telling the other members in the band about the way Zander wasn't fine. She knew it but she thought it had nothing to do with her. Zander and Kacey was close and yet she knew he was closer to Stevie. Sometimes Kacey wonders if Stevie knew how Zander was in pain. Everybody knew that no one was that happy and if there were something was wrong. Not once did Kacey ever think that Zander looking in the mirror many times was because he was self-conscious because everybody thought he was hot. To this day Kacey Simon blames herself for the death of Zander Robbins.

Nelson Baxter in high school was the most self-conscious person or he thought but it turns out Zander Robbins were and Nelson knew that one day after school.

_-Flashback- _

_Nelson needed to use the bathroom before deciding to go home and down with band practice. He saw Zander crying and Nelson was shocked. Zander never cried about anyone or anything, he was tough. Nelson sat down next to him. Zander turned to him and wiped his tears away. It was quiet no sounds except constant sniffling coming from Zander. "Don't tell anyone I was crying" Zander whispered to Nelson while the tears fell from his eyes. "What's wrong" Nelson asked him while putting his hand on Zander's shoulder. "Do you think everyone likes me" Zander asked in the same tone as earlier. "Zander you are the nicest person I have ever met" Nelson informed him. "My parents used to fight all the time about me" Zander told Nelson and Nelson looked at him. "My dad said not so nice things about me" Zander continued looking down. "Come on Zander don't listen to your dad" Nelson told him and Zander shook his head. "At my old school, I was a nerd, I wore glasses and braces and I was overweight and I got bullied so much for my appearance so I decided to lose weight, got contacts and next summer I got braces off and I changed my wardrobe, I started wearing leather jackets and shades" Zander told him while shaking his head. Nelson couldn't imagine Zander being overweight or wearing glasses. Nelson just sat there comforting him. "Thanks for listening to me Nelson, you saved my life" Zander said while Nelson left the bathroom. _

_-Flashback ends- _

Nelson never got why Zander said that to him all he did was listen. Sometimes he wished Zander never told him that secret and sometimes he was glad. Now he knows why Zander told him that secret and why he said he saved his life. Maybe Zander was thinking of suicide and maybe all he wanted was somebody to listen to his pain. Nelson saw the pain after the bathroom incident; he saw the pain in his eyes no matter how hard he tried not to. It was always there and it never went away, even when Zander was joking and smiling around. Nelson just wished that Zander admitted that he needed help and not kept in in. Nelson walked downstairs after making sure his outfit was perfect. He saw Grace smiling at him and kissed him on the cheek. "Are you ready" She asked him. "Ready as I'll ever be" Nelson told her. "Zander shouldn't have killed himself, he was perfect, and Molly really liked him" Grace informed him. "He was such a nice guy to everyone" Nelson continued. "How did he kill himself" Grace asked him while tears were on her face. "He cut himself too deep and overdosed on anti-depressant pills" Nelson told her while tears fell from his eyes. Both of them hopped in the car, awkward silence to their destination. Grace King now known as Grace Baxter was in the group the Perfs with Molly Garfunkel. She was known as the not so smart member in the Perfs and Molly took a full advantage of her. She always had this crush on Nelson. Grace did make it well known but it Zander who brought Nelson and Grace together. For that Grace is grateful and because of Zander she started showing her real self the smart one not the dumb one.

_-Flashback- _

_Grace was staring at Nelson with Kevin eating pizza, she sighed, and she was eating lunch alone without Molly. Zander noticed her staring at Nelson. "Hey Grace" Zander greeted. "Hey, Hey" She responded to him. "You like Nelson" Zander commented to her. "I kind of do but don't tell Molly" Grace begged Zander. "You know Grace, you should act like yourself, and I know you really are smart" Zander told her and stand up. "You shouldn't let Molly push you around and why don't you ask Nelson out and not wait for him to ask you out" Zander continued before walking away. Grace smiled to herself; she got up and walked over to Nelson and Kevin table. "Hey Nelson" She greeted him and Nelson looked up. "Hi" Nelson said to her. "Nelson do you want to go on a date" Grace asked Nelson which earned Kevin spitting his milk out and onto Andy. "Sorry Andy" Kevin apologized and Andy just shrugged his shoulders and walked away. "YES" Nelson said and Grace kissed his cheek and walked away to her lunch table with a smile on her face and Zander winked at her. "Thank you" She lips synched to Zander and he just nodded his smile. _

_-Flashback ends- _

Grace couldn't help but feel bad she didn't ask if he was okay she didn't pay him back for encouraging her to stick up for herself and take a chance with Nelson. When Zander quit Gravity 5, Grace was shocked; he belonged in that band regardless of the situation. Gravity 5 needed another person in the band and Grace was soon part of Gravity 5 leaving Molly behind. She was becoming who she wanted to be and it was all thanks to Zander Robbins. Nelson and Grace got out of the car walked to wear they saw Kevin, Kacey and Stevie. They all had tears down their face. "Hey guys" Nelson said to them. "Hey man" Kevin greeted Nelson with their old handshake while Stevie and Kacey hugged Grace. They all watched Zander's casket lowered down into the ground. Stevie shaking so hard with sobs and Kacey hugged her. Grace felt it was fault for not paying him back for everything he done for her, Nelson felt it was his fault for not trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Kevin felt it was his fault for not telling anyone about Zander's abusive dad, Stevie felt it was her fault for not realizing his insecurities that managed to destroy him to pieces and Kacey felt it was her fault for not telling anyone how she thought Zander was depressed. They all together felt bad for not trying hard enough to stop Zander from leaving Gravity 5 and for not trying to save him and be there for him. It was late that night and all of them, Grace, Nelson, Kevin, Kacey and Stevie all stood there tears falling down. "He said thanks for trying to save me" Stevie said out loud. "He said the exact same thing to me" Kevin, Nelson and Kacey said at the same time. Zander's mother gave them a letter earlier at the funeral. "Should we open it" Stevie asked them and all of them said yes.

"Dear Gravity 4 and Grace,

Thank you for saving me for a while at least, I want you guys to know it weren't your fault, it was mine for letting it go this far, for not getting help, for being ashamed of myself. I couldn't take it anymore. Nelson you saved me by listening to me, Stevie you saved me by making me feels perfect, Kevin you saved me by wearing and taking that watch I didn't want to keep also making me laugh, it was so long since I last laughed before I came to Brewster High,, Kacey thanks for having a crush on me, it made me feel like I was important and Grace thanks for listening to my advice. Thank all of you guys for saving me but I couldn't save myself and that was my own fault only not any of you guys.

Sincerely,

Zander Robbins" Stevie read out loud and all of the tears slid down their faces. All of them just stood there hugging each other. Stevie letting the paper fell from her hand.

~2 years later~

**Kevin and Kacey** had a kid a boy to be specific and named it Kristopher Zander Reed. In honor of Zander Robbins member of Gravity 5, the boy who made them laugh, smile and made sweet music. They are happy together and Kacey is pregnant again this time with girl. They plan on naming it Kristen Hope Reed. . Kevin owns a restaurant and Kacey is a singer signed to capital records. Kevin and Kacey live in California because too many memories in the town they lived in

**Nelson and Grace** had twins a boy and a girl and named them Nicholas Robbins Baxter and Georgia Star Baxter. They named their baby boy Nicholas Robbins Baxter because of Zander Robbins. Unfortunately Nelson and Grace got a divorced. Nelson and Grace are good friends now. Molly and Grace are friends again this time, Grace isn't afraid to show who she is and Molly isn't mean. Molly and Nelson are dating now and Grace is happy for them. Molly is a fashion designer, Grace is a doctor and Nelson is a famous music director. Just like Kevin and Kacey, Nelson and Grace wanted to get out of the town that Zander lived in so Nelson lives in New York City and Grace Is located in Manhattan.

**Stevie** moved on from Zander and ended up falling in love with a guy name Will Arnaz. Will experienced the same thing as Stevie about a friend suicide. They have a kid together, a baby girl name Samantha Loral Arnaz. Stevie named her first child this because Zander always liked the name Samantha and Loral. He thought the name Loral was different and unique. Stevie is a model and Will is a photographer and on the side Stevie teaches kids how to play bass. Stevie and Will live a little bit outside of the town she grew up in. Stevie wanted to stay because she wanted to remember all the memories including the bad and good. Stevie wanted her kid to go to the same school she went.

**Kevin, Kacey, Nelson, Grace, Molly and Stevie **all hang out on Zander's birthday and retell memories and stories all about Zander and on his death they all go to his grave and talk to him about their life. All of them and Will even though Will doesn't know much about Zander, he knows Zander from stories from Stevie, opened up a successful organization about suicide, depression and abuse called the Zander Evans Robbins Organization aka known as ZERO. It had helped many boys and girls. All of them go to schools to talk about Zander Robbins' story

"Hi I'm Stevie Arnaz" Stevie introduced herself and then passed the microphone around to Kacey. "Hello guys I'm Kacey Reed" Kacey introduced herself and then passed the microphone around to Nelson. "Okay guys I'm Nelson Baxter" Nelson introduced himself and then passed the microphone around to Kevin. "What's up guys? I'm Kevin Reed" Kevin introduced himself and then passed the microphone around to Molly.

"How you guys doing? I'm Molly Garfunkel" Molly introduced her and then passed the microphone around to Grace. "Hey guys I'm Grace Baxter" Grace introduced herself and then passed the microphone around to Will. "And I'm Will Arnaz" Will introduced himself and then passed the microphone back to Stevie.

"We are here to talk you guys about a story about Zander Robbins" Stevie finished up.

"Zander Robbins was just 20 years old when he died how you guys will ask, I'm going to have Nelson explain how" Kevin told the students in the audience. "Zander was depressed, he was on anti-depressants pills and he cut himself deep and then overdosed on his anti-depressants pills because in high school, Zander was getting abused at home, he got depressed and he had suicidal thoughts all the time" Nelson explained to them. "Zander never asked for help instead he kept it to himself and that was a mistake" Kacey said into her microphone.


End file.
